I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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