is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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