So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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