another moral hangover. fuck.
You smell like stripper and shame
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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