Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
