dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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