I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Randomize
