We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
