we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
