Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
