God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
