normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Acid is not a monday night drug
He felt like a one man threesome
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
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