We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
