so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
