why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I need moral support for this bender
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
