ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
