Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
