It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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