Nicole vs. Life
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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