Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
