Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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