google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I'm at about main and main street
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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