watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Randomize
