I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
