woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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