I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
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