So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
