just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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