Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
