I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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