Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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