names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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