so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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