wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
