I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Randomize
