Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
