We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
