I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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