remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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