hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
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