how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Randomize
