I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
