dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
