ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
