By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
