I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
We are all done wearing pants today
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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