Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
