Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
