NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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