found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
