Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I can't put those talents on a resume
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
