you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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